


The Storyteller

by Evidence



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-23
Updated: 2012-03-23
Packaged: 2017-11-02 09:42:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/367607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evidence/pseuds/Evidence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fic-form observation of the recent ME3 ending controversy.  Spoilers inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Storyteller

The child looked up at his grandfather, after he had finished telling his tale.

“Grandpa?” he said.

“Yes, my dear?” his grandfather replied.

“That was stupid.”

His grandfather blinked, and looked back down as the child folded his arms and scowled, letting go of his hand.

“What?” he asked, taken aback.

“That was stupid,” the child reiterated. “Why would Commander Shepard just do whatever that Guardian kid said? He made the Reapers! He was bad!”

“Well-“

“And how would jumping into a beam of light turn everybody part robot, and the robots part flesh?”

“That’s-“

“And Commander Shepard spent that whole story telling the Illusive Man that controlling the Reapers was impossible! And spent all that time helping the geth and the quarians get along, so what that Guardian said wasn’t even true!”

“You see-“

“Plus EDI was in love with Joker, she would never hurt him!”

“Yes, but-“

“Why didn’t Commander Shepard just tell the Guardian to shut up and blow him up instead? I bet it would’ve hurt the Reapers. Killing Saren hurt Sovereign!”

“It’s not that-“

“And how come the Normandy was running away from the fight? Commander Shepard’s friends would never do that! They would go to the Citadel to try and save the commander, no matter what!”

“I-“

“Oh, Grandpa,” sighed the boy. He reached over, then, deflating some, and patted him on the arm. “That was a good story. But maybe you should let me finish it next time.”

The grandfather looked down at him, and after a moment, he threw his hands up into the air and began to stalk away.

“Kids these days,” he grumbled as he went. “No sense of artistic integrity.”


End file.
